"What's Your Sign?" And Other Lame Pickup Lines

"What's your sign?"


This has to be one of the dumbest pickup lines ever created. Between the one about rearranging the alphabet and God being short one angel, men (and some women!) have been saying cheesy things to attract the opposite sex since the advent of language in general. I suppose thats better than being clubbed over the head and dragged by your hair into someone's cave, but not much.


I majored in communication in college. One of my final projects in video production class was a commercial for Planet Smoothie I'd written for another class. In it, I had a couple of guys yell out some of the lamest pickup lines they could think of as though they were hitting  on random women at a bar. I won't repeat them all because some of them could get me into trouble, but here are some of the, um, cleaner ones. :)

"You must be tired, because you've been running through my mind all day."

"If you were words on a page, you'd be called the fine print."
“Do you have a map? I keep getting lost in your eyes.”
"Nice outfit...it'll look great crumpled up on my floor in the morning."
“Are you okay? I ask because it's a long fall from heaven.”
“If I told you you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”
“Hi, I'm Mr. Right. I heard you were looking for me?”
“Do you believe in love at first sight? 'Cause I could walk by again.”
“I'm like a Snickers bar: I'm packed with nuts and really satisfy.”
“I'm not drunk; I'm just intoxicated by you.”
“Do you have any <insert ethnicity here> in you? Want some?”
"Somebody'd better call the fire department, 'cause you're smokin'!"
"Are you a traffic ticket? 'Cause you've got 'fine' written all over you."
“You know what would really look good on you? Me!”
"If you were a booger, I'd pick you first."
“I hope you know CPR, 'cause you just took my breath away.”
“Hi, my name is ____; remember it, 'cause you'll be screaming it all night long.”
“I lost my phone number, can I have yours?”
“So, do you have some fries to go with that shake?”
“Can I borrow a quarter? 'Cause I promised my mom I'd call her when I met the girl of my dreams.”
“Here's $30. Drink until I'm good looking and then come talk to me.”
"Well, here I am. What are your other two wishes?"



Bad pickup lines aren't just for men! In college, I went up to a guy wearing a fraternity 'rush' T-shirt playing pool and asked which frat he pledged-I Tappa Keg or I Felta Thigh. In my defense, I was on Spring Break with some friends and did it as a dare. He knew I was joking and wanted my number! I guess pickup lines are a good way to get a feel for someone's sense of humor; I can't imagine anyone thinking they work for anything else!



What are the dumbest pickup lines you've heard?