Fun Comebacks To Uncomfortable Questions

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If you're like me, you probably know someone who doesn't have a 'filter'. By that, I mean someone who doesn't seem to know what is or what is not appropriate to say. Even if they don't mean any harm (although some of them do), it can still be really uncomfortable to be asked a question you don't want to answer. Some subjects are 'touchy', others you only talk about with certain people, and still others are simply inappropriate in certain company. What's more, the discomfort of a question seems to be uniquely proportional to how often it is asked.

The best way to deal with such people is with a quick comeback. While you probably got away with telling your sister to 'MYOB' (Mind Your Own Business), you might want to have a different response in mind for your partner's mom or that old lady from church. Plus, laughing usually distracts people from probing for information. Just so you know, I'm not advocating that you be intentionally rude; in fact, anyone who knows me could tell you I am too nice for my own good! It just helps to have a snappy response, even if you only say it to yourself.

Some good comebacks are:

(To a pregnant woman) So, who's the father?

I'd think this is a rather offensive question for any of us. As a married woman, it would definitely bother me. I find that 'George Clooney, jealous?' or whatever male celebrity you've been eyeing to be a more appropriate answer than, 'none of your business' or the snarky 'your husband/father, didn't you know?' If you're in a group, sometimes you can evade the question by quickly changing the subject and mentioning your husband/boyfriend in an offhand way. Most people would take that to mean that the man in your life is your baby's father, and you won't have to say anything directly.

What about kids (and its many variables). If anyone questions you about why you don't have kids or makes comments like, 'you'd better get started!' or 'then why did you get married?' that upset you, just be silent for a second. A lot of people will then apologize for upsetting you and/or backpedal. Another thing I've had to do was shrug my shoulders and change the subject. The latter is especially effective if you are in a group. I've heard 'whenever we feel it's right', 'whenever <insert deity here> wills it', or even 'I love kids, but I also love to give them back!' I think most parents can empathize with that last one, at least on some level!

Are all of these your kids? While some people ask this question to mean, “wow, how do you do it? You must be a better woman than me.”, others say it in such a way that implies that there's a 'limit' on how many kids a family should have. You could say yes and then ask the person how many kids they have. If the question bothers them, they'll get the hint that it bothers you too. Most people don't mean any harm. It might also be fun to say, 'if you had kids this cute, wouldn't you want more?' or 'no, I just picked that one up off the side of the road' and see what the person says. They'll probably laugh and then give the compliment (as they see it) that is probably meant.

Hopefully I've given you a few ideas of ways to combat some of the odd questions people might ask. Like I said before, most people don't mean any harm. It just helps to be able to make the point that the question is uncomfortable for you in a way that doesn't come across as hostile.