All relationships take quite a bit of effort, for both parties. Unfortunately, divorces are becoming more popular and couples have lost the determination to continue to improve their commitments without failing. Divorce is never an event that couples intend on going through, it is a common circumstance that millions of households are faced with every year.
While there will always be many couples that have simply destroyed their relationships and cannot possibly repair them, those marriages are doomed for divorce. There are however, thousands of them that can be salvaged and to avoid a divorce should always be an option if possible. When couples are faced with the terms of the divorce it can be more of an emotional struggle than what is needed. Not only is it emotionally strenuous, but it can also be financially challenging and even worse if there are children involved. To work things out for the couples that still love one another and in the cases where bridges have not been burned, it is much easier to seek the help and guidance to make things work.
The first issues that must be addressed are to be completely honest and candid with your spouse. This many equate even exposing certain feelings or thoughts that you may have had with your spouse to ensure that you are being honest and encouraging your spouse to trust you. Two people can be married for years and while they may not feel the same they once did when they got married, if they trust one another then they can essentially continue a civil marriage and begin to work out the kinks.
The second element is to always talk it out, open communication is imperative in a marriage. If you fester up hurt or angry feelings and keep them inside you, in due time those feelings will be expressed in the middle of an argument with your spouse.
Next, if you truly love your spouse then show it through your actions. This means embracing your husband or wife when you see them, and making time to be with them. If you work nonstop all week long, then you best make some time during the weekends to be with your spouse and to experience all that life has to enjoy together. A simple hug or quick dinner together can mean the world in a struggling marriage. Once those small tokens of effort are noticed they also become contagious as well. It is as if you are near someone with a great laugh, you also begin laughing and the thoughtful gestures you put out there will be appreciated especially in a struggling marriage.
Learning to appreciate your spouse all over again may take a few weeks, but it is well worth the time. This is the person you were so fond of that you decided to marry them, make that the primary focus and after a few weeks of extra effort from both parties you may feel as if you are now in a brand new marriage!
The second element is to always talk it out, open communication is imperative in a marriage. If you fester up hurt or angry feelings and keep them inside you, in due time those feelings will be expressed in the middle of an argument with your spouse.
Next, if you truly love your spouse then show it through your actions. This means embracing your husband or wife when you see them, and making time to be with them. If you work nonstop all week long, then you best make some time during the weekends to be with your spouse and to experience all that life has to enjoy together. A simple hug or quick dinner together can mean the world in a struggling marriage. Once those small tokens of effort are noticed they also become contagious as well. It is as if you are near someone with a great laugh, you also begin laughing and the thoughtful gestures you put out there will be appreciated especially in a struggling marriage.
Learning to appreciate your spouse all over again may take a few weeks, but it is well worth the time. This is the person you were so fond of that you decided to marry them, make that the primary focus and after a few weeks of extra effort from both parties you may feel as if you are now in a brand new marriage!
Yes marriage is most definitely something that requires work, especially with kids, work, financial issues etc.
ReplyDeleteIt is so important not to lose that spark. Always seek to put your spouse's needs first; rarely will this steer you wrong.
Regardless of what anyone may believe or not believe about the validity of the bible. It still contains the best definition of what "love" is, that I've come across thus far.
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails." 1 Corinthians 13:4
I had that passage read at my wedding! I know a lot of people do, but it wasn't just a 'ritual' for us. We're Christians but, even if someone isn't, they have to admit that it makes a lot of sense.
ReplyDeleteMy father once told me that, if a couple goes into a marriage with a 'contingency plan', then they might as well not even bother because they have already shown that they are not committed to making it work. I can completely see what he means.